Can having a baby really solve your relationship problems? Today, we tackle this provocative question head-on and debunk one of the most common misconceptions about relationships. Learn why genuine love, open communication, and mutual respect are the real cornerstones of a healthy partnership. We'll discuss the critical need for each partner to be a whole and fulfilled individual, and how shared values, including spiritual ones, play a pivotal role in solidifying a strong marital foundation. Whether you're struggling to maintain intimacy amidst life's demands or pondering the impact of big decisions, this episode offers insight and clarity.
Ever wondered how to keep your relationship vibrant despite the inevitable challenges? Discover the power of mutual support and compassion as we highlight the importance of shared laughter and positivity, even during tough times. From intellectual and spiritual connection to physical and intimate aspects, we underscore a holistic approach to nurturing your relationship. Plus, find out how exploring new interests and rediscovering each other's passions can keep the spark alive. Thank you for being part of Life or Death Ministries. God bless you!
Can having a baby really solve your relationship problems? Today, we tackle this provocative question head-on and debunk one of the most common misconceptions about relationships. Learn why genuine love, open communication, and mutual respect are the real cornerstones of a healthy partnership. We'll discuss the critical need for each partner to be a whole and fulfilled individual, and how shared values, including spiritual ones, play a pivotal role in solidifying a strong marital foundation. Whether you're struggling to maintain intimacy amidst life's demands or pondering the impact of big decisions, this episode offers insight and clarity.
Ever wondered how to keep your relationship vibrant despite the inevitable challenges? Discover the power of mutual support and compassion as we highlight the importance of shared laughter and positivity, even during tough times. From intellectual and spiritual connection to physical and intimate aspects, we underscore a holistic approach to nurturing your relationship. Plus, find out how exploring new interests and rediscovering each other's passions can keep the spark alive. Thank you for being part of Life or Death Ministries. God bless you!
So who or what are we looking for? Like, I don't get it, the reflection in the mirror. No, there's a change, though right. We've decided that, collectively, this is the best decision for us to advance within our relationship. We've decided that if we brought life into this earth, if we had a baby yes, of course, if you conceived or we were pregnant together, that we'd be capable of getting closer, that it would iron out all of our wrinkles, that all of the drama and all the mistakes that were made, and we just be capable of putting it to rest. Now we're living life for this child.
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Sometimes we make those decisions and it's not the right decision for me, it's not the right decision for you. We're so very, very desperate to have that sense of approval, though. I seek to be loved. I want to be loved. I want it to be reciprocated. Good morning, how are you? And you want to hear it too. I want to say I love you, and you want to hear it back and say I love you, but you want to mean it. You want to have actual works within the relationship.
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We make decisions often, and those decisions are attempting to bring us closer together. We often think that we can fix our own problems seeing ourselves in somebody else and I know that's hard to reciprocate. How could you possibly see yourself in somebody else, especially in a relationship, in a marriage and in commitment. See what you want and what you need, or what you believe fixes the problems, becomes so derogatory that you're blindsided, that you're no longer capable of loving. You see your wants, needs and your concerns in that other person. In a healthy relationship, you share what you have love for, you're happy, you're accepting of one another. I'm not judging you or condemning you. There is no perfect spouse or perfect partner. Good morning, how are you? Is there something I can help you with? That's a bad example, but a good one in a good way. I don't need to see my inequities and my flaws in my partner, nor do they need to recognize my depletingness and a sense of worth. So if we decide to have a baby because our relationship is falling apart, we're going separate directions and the growth that we're experiencing is not leading to a sense of climatic satisfaction, then we're probably doing something wrong. Eternal image of a relationship is the investment of me and you and, regardless of anything else, I don't lose you and you don't lose me. You know I'm actually invested in you. I've made a excuse me. Right. There it goes, the commitment I made a commitment in you and you've made a commitment in me. Excuse me, am I doing something wrong? How come we don't have God and Christ in our relationship anymore, two individuals making a commitment towards one another to value the eternal aspect of the marriage, of the relationship and it works, by the way.
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Love, intimacy after change Is it a tough one? We now experienced a baby. Our sex life is completely upheaved. We don't want to consume one another. Everybody's so busy with their hustle and bustle. I just don't have time for her and she don't have time for me. We fill in the blanks for each other's sentences, which can be good. I know who she is and I know who she isn't, but where's the independent living? Come in at that, and I'm asking you to coexist. We live together Occasionally, we have sex, we pay bills together, not like that.
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But it's so important that you have yourself, that you're capable of being fulfilled, that you're capable of being completed. You need to be that whole person, because if you have a whole person to offer in a relationship, regardless of what life events, what storms you're weathering or what you've advanced or how you failed, then that then the person you have in your life, they'll be capable of being receptive to that whole person. If your whole person is daunted, is taunted and don't get me wrong, we all make mistakes then you're probably not going to be capable of making it there or taking it on that level. So be capable of defining how you can contribute, and sometimes it's more than a direct notion of I probably need self-help or I need to work on myself a little bit so I can be capable of providing.
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Communication is turnkey. They say you get in the car, you turn the key out the door. Very good, off you go. When we are communicating what we're working on, what our wants and needs are, there's no guessing game. I don't like guessing. Well, I think this is what's going on with you. This is how I'm going to try to talk to you and I get it. You know, sometimes it's like well, stop trying to pry information from me. Is there something wrong? Did you want to talk? Sometimes that don't work. If you have something to worry about, you're probably doing something wrong within a relationship. But if you can trust and confine that, you've put it within God's hands and you don't have anything to worry about.
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And it's not a self-doting notion in some respective degree, of how I'm better than you are or you're worse than me, especially when it comes to parenting. Do you ever notice our competitive nature speaks louder than the volume of love and compassion and interest that we have for one another? No, no, I'm a better parent. I just thought that we should do things like this. It's like we completely forget about the steps of having. What Communication. Do you want to talk about parenting, how we're going to parent? Have you ever coexisted within parenting? I'm going to parent you this way. Now, I know your mom does things this way. Do you have to change who you are to be a human being, to be a spouse, to be a parent? Absolutely not. In fact, both degrees are very respectable in the shade and tone of love.
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So I have that assertion seeking coexisting, making time for one another. We can coexist while I can still be independent. That doesn't mean I'm bringing bondage and baggage home. It means I'm still loving you with a sense of compression. I feed off of you, you feed off of me. We're there for one another. You're my ride or die. I'm not gonna fail. You're not gonna fail. We're gonna continue to build one another up Personal connections, and I wrote down personal connections for a reason. It's private. I'm not bringing home my work. I'm not bringing home my friends, my coworkers, my denominations, my inequities, things that I need to work on Standing at the door, excuse me, did you find Christ today? Because if you did, you're forgiven, you're redeemed. If you didn't, you probably don't want to walk up in this house. For me and my house, we will serve the Lord very good.
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Seeing yourself in the mirror, the perception of the deception you're seeing yourself. Do you see yourself in the relationship and I know that's a tough one. We wrap our minds around it. Seeing yourself in the relationship If you see yourself in the relationship, it should only be in the mindset of what do you have to give and what do you have to offer? How can you continue to advance or how do you build that other person up? A lot of times we're self-doubting. You know, I know you're going to clean the house and do laundry and you're going to be capable of taking care of the kids. I'm probably going to sit down, have a can of beer and watch the pigskin get thrown around a little bit, by the way. What are you making for lunch and dinner Not that I'm mad, I get it. There's definitely dominant roles in relationships out how you can assert yourself to that other person and how you can make a difference in their life.
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Something as simple as getting some water or some dish suds on the hands occasionally and washing dishes goes a very long ways. Let me take some of the stress off of you. Some individuals get personal here. I'm going to give you a foot massage. I'm going to give you breakfast in bed, write little haiku poems. I'm going to get flowers, chocolates, etc.
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Make an initiative to make that other person in your life a priority and reach out to them on a level that only you reach out to them at. Why, if you might ask? Because if they're important to you, you probably can't afford to lose them, and nobody likes loss right? Occasionally we fail, we fall and we're born again. We're revived here. We just had a baby. Let's continue to seek one another intimately. Let's have date night. Let's make sure that we're capable and able of loving each other.
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Yes, of course we brought life within here, but if we lose one another, then we have nothing. We don't have anything. So change the whole person, and we've seen this as the biological clock ages within us. We've seen individuals growing apart or going in different directions. It's still okay to pursue your own hobbies and interests, but why wouldn't you want to share your life, your love, with one another? But it's so important to grow together and not grow apart.
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So I like what I call independent relationships, and it sounds crazy. It doesn't mean I'm coexisting either. You're still capable of having your own hobbies, your own interests. You're still capable of having your own life. I don't need to be up to your neck 24-7, but I can involve myself in your life as a best friend, as a companion, as a spouse, as every social hat and every directive that you can see. And I want to be involved in your life, like I'm going to assert myself, not in a clingy, tangy type of way like, oh my Lord, I need to know your passcode on your phone, not like that. See, if it's your problem, it's your problem, and if it's my problem, it's my problem, but more on the lines of I love you, I care, I don't think you want somebody else in that way. So do babies bring relationships together? And the answer would be yes and no, if you're looking for a fix in your relationship and you believe having a child is going to improve your relationship, your happiness with one another.
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It's usually quite a bit of a burden to take on more stress, more responsibility, more tasks and more chores when you're not happy with the current tasks and chores that you had, and it could be as simple as loving one another. It seems like it's a task and a chore to love you. Excuse me, what are we doing wrong? What and how do you see yourself? Do you see your spouse? What qualities and traits do you see yourself? Do you see your spouse? What qualities and traits do you see in yourself that you have to offer your spouse, your intimate partner? I'm talking physically, intimately, socially, economically, spiritually, in every aspect possible. Are you caring? Are you compassionate? Are you giving or are you continuously taking, self-doubting? You're not happy. You don't have love to offer. How do you see your spouse? How you see your spouse is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself, because they're your better half.
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Remind yourself to not get deluded. Remember what I said Don't see yourself in your spouse. Also, often our imperfections get brought to life when we see her, and you know I wash dishes this way, but I'm too lazy to actually do it myself, so I'm going to have you do it. And when you don't do it, I'm going to see myself in you and I'm going to say this isn't the way that it should be done. Make sure that you're capable of being receptive to what they have to offer. If you're not happy with yourself, it's probably back down onto you and not to them. So I see myself as being talented. I have a lot to offer I can love. I can unconditionally give myself to that other person wholeheartedly. And of course, I have boundaries. Lord forgive me. Just like everybody else, I can write down on post-it notes and give you little reminders or put a stop. Sign up. I do not want you cheating on me and don't bring other dynamics into our personal relationship. Our personal and professional lives need to be separated and these are my boundaries.
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Did you notice how clear communication is like exhaling? It's quite the relief. I've seen relationships get started off on the wrong foot, to where they didn't have one another and they started it with a lie and then they've continued to nurture the lie as the relationship goes. Be brutal, honest with one another, like I love you, or sometimes it can be. I feel like I'm in the moment. Can we help one another? And sometimes good communication works. We once had a system to where I reward you with this and I take this away from you.
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It doesn't quite sound like love, does it? It sounds like more of a coexisting Rewards. Who are we teaching? Who are we training? So if you see love in life within yourself, you can see love in life within your partner. Think about how you see yourself and think about how you see your girlfriend, your spouses, and write down what's good and what's wrong and what's bad and what's sad. Redefine the relationship, bring life back on into it and, every day, look to offer no more than love. By the way, the arguments, the pity, the agony, the sorrow, somebody else is living better. Or you heard your best friend got a new vehicle and you want the new vehicle.
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Don't worry about the little things that really have no relevance. I think love's relationship is that eternal possession and if you can include simple notions, by the way and I believe in Christianity it goes a very, very long ways in my life. Good morning, do you want to say a prayer together? Should we take a second to say grace together If you have something to worry about and I've seen this happen in relationships if you have something to worry about, you're probably doing something wrong. I don't want to be embarrassed if we say grace at the table while we're eating out. If you have something to worry about, stop living a lie. Learn how to be honest with yourself and learn how to be honest with one another, and it'll go very long ways in this world on having a sense of improvement.
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Don't be derogative. If they're failing and falling, you can laugh, you can smile, you can say hallelujah. Don't add fuel to the fire. Be capable of helping, offering a lending hand, and I often like this. You know, if it was me and this was happening to me, this is probably what I'd try, and I'm not trying to upset you, but I'm here for your help, for your guidance, if you would need me in any way, shape or form, and don't be afraid to fail together.
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If you fail as an individual, the relationships pass beyond gone and it's not repairable. But if you feel as a couple, as a team, as a solidarity, we're leading a country and nation of our own relationship For me and my house, yes, we're going to continue to serve the Lord. Then it's easier to keep one another. You see your house and your dynamics, the love, the intellectual, spiritual, physical and intimate, the late nights with keeping the lights on. They're all dependent on you being very thankful and being receptive to one another. Don't be afraid to reach out and try different substances, chemicals, hobbies, interests and rediscovering one another and passions, likes and desires. Thank you for listening to Life or Death Ministries. Feel free to hit me up with any questions and concerns. God bless you.