What if our modern approach to love is fundamentally flawed? In this episode, we tackle the pervasive disposable mindset that treats love as a commodity. By unpacking the emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual dimensions of unconditional love, we reveal how societal checklists and self-imposed restrictions often hinder genuine connections. Together, we explore the courage required to embrace love as an eternal, self-defiant force, shattering conventional expectations and fostering truly authentic relationships.
Join us as we discuss the essence of true love—accepting partners for who they are, rather than molding them into idealized visions. We'll highlight the pitfalls of superficial expectations and the emotional struggles that can derail genuine relationships, from midlife crises to dissatisfaction with trivial attributes. By recognizing and cherishing the real qualities in others, you'll learn how to cultivate enduring love. Dive into our insights on continuously discovering and appreciating each other, fostering deeper, more meaningful connections.
What if our modern approach to love is fundamentally flawed? In this episode, we tackle the pervasive disposable mindset that treats love as a commodity. By unpacking the emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual dimensions of unconditional love, we reveal how societal checklists and self-imposed restrictions often hinder genuine connections. Together, we explore the courage required to embrace love as an eternal, self-defiant force, shattering conventional expectations and fostering truly authentic relationships.
Join us as we discuss the essence of true love—accepting partners for who they are, rather than molding them into idealized visions. We'll highlight the pitfalls of superficial expectations and the emotional struggles that can derail genuine relationships, from midlife crises to dissatisfaction with trivial attributes. By recognizing and cherishing the real qualities in others, you'll learn how to cultivate enduring love. Dive into our insights on continuously discovering and appreciating each other, fostering deeper, more meaningful connections.
Be brave, take risks. Nothing can substitute experience. Paolo Cajal, I don't know what the pronunciation is right, forgive me. So to love is to be brave, but most of us we don't even know what love is. It's so surface level context. Isn't it a feeling or emotion, something I can reference? Does it come in a bottle? Can I buy it at a store? Maybe we can order it online and have free next day shipping, right Like I'm in need of it and I'm in need of it now.
Speaker 1:
We live in this disposable mindset to where we can purchase what we want. We can taste it, we can experience it. It's not the right feeling, the tone, the vibe, the shade, the color, and if we don't like it, we can throw it right on out. I wouldn't worry about it. They sell them cheap. I can buy one in the morning. Forget about it, let's just let it go.
Speaker 1:
When to be love is brave is the exact opposite, because our mentality and capacity doesn't quite extend to that value. Of course. What is our reference to love? Is love only the emotional, the physical, the intellectual, the spiritual, every aspect, the intimate? How do we reference love? And love could be that spiritual essence. Love is eternal. It takes me to eternity. I am Father, son, holy Spirit. Within that essence, within that mindset, excuse me.
Speaker 1:
So we are strangers to love. We don't even know what love is. We'd like to think we know what it is. We've created labels, restrictions, limitations. Some of us, we've got checklists. Okay, I'm single, let me see, I want her to have blonde hair. Okay, I'm single, let me see, I want her to have blonde hair. I want to have this color eyes, this type of education, this type of career and I'm hoping this is her fit size. And I want her personal attributes and hobbies, interests and likes to have this demeanor. That's extreme. But that's love, don't you understand? That's what I love, but that isn't love at all. That's only a confession of your inability to accept.
Speaker 1:
So when we say to be brave to love, we need to eliminate the strangers and the first person we have to eliminate. That's a tough one. We have to scratch our head. We have to eliminate ourselves because we are incapable and not competent of loving who we are. Well, somebody must have token us for granted At some point. You must have got hurt extremely bad and now it's a catalyst. I see it's dampened you, you're not capable. What if they say the first cuts the deepest, or something? Yes, of course, and I think that it could be true.
Speaker 1:
But love is something that we maternalize in, it's something that grows and, of course, the Christian view of it is God is love. So it lasts for eternity, now and forever. And you don't have to have that checklist, right? So love knows no restrictions, boundaries, limitations. It's not selfish, right, we could look at it from a biblical perspective, but it's to be brave. And why is it to be brave? Because all of a sudden, you let go of the checklist. All of a sudden you let go of the norms, the expectations on what you think it should be. And isn't love so self-defiant? Self-defiant in what way? I think if he'll start loving me this way and just give me some time, I promise you I can change him and get him to exactly who we want him to be.
Speaker 1:
Think about what I'm saying. Then your love is no more than a confession of what. Was it like? A puppet, Is it like a zombie or something? Is it programmable? Let me upload the new download, boom, I hit enter, and then this person's off to the races. They're exactly who I want them to be. See, love can't take shape, tone and color in who I want them to be.
Speaker 1:
I work with relationships often and I tell the individuals, the partners, the husbands, the spouses, the ones that don't find love with one another anymore. I said stop trying to see yourself in that other person. And they're looking at me like what I'm like. You heard me. Stop trying to see yourself in that other person because they can't be you and they can't even be who you want them to be Nobody in their right mind. I can try, like I can put on the fake smile for a little bit, I can put on a two piece right and walk out the door of peace.
Speaker 1:
Think about what I'm saying. I can try to be who you want me to be, but you are not going to be happy because you still have that void that needs to be filled. So trying to be somebody for who we're not is a complete defiance. It doesn't work. It doesn't work. But if you see love within that person, all right.
Speaker 1:
So every day, every day, look at your intimate belonging, your partner, the one that you're in love with. Look at them as a stranger, all right. God's given me this gift of a human being, a creature, and I mean my goodness, in most cases I hope she looks real good. You know what I'm saying. Think about what I'm saying. I'm attracted to her. I'm compulsive within it. Yes, I've got commitment. I'm intrigued, I'm compelled, I'm hoping a little bit of Twitter patient. There's nothing wrong with that. We can get spun out real quick. But I'm going to view this person as a stranger each and every day and I'm going to see how I can find love within them and they can find love within me.
Speaker 1:
Because if you look at them and your perception of love for them is no more than I'm, looking for ways to love you, to adore you, to continuously involve myself with you, not like a clingy, needy way, like I'm walking out the door please don't leave. Not like that, but more in a sense of I'm really going to accept you, I'm going to consume you. I'm going to eat you up right, heart, soul, mind, thought, word and deed. I'm going to keep you up all night. I got you right. Think about what I'm saying. I'm going to get inside the mind piece, the dome piece. Then you'll find excitement, you'll find joy and laughter in discovering one another.
Speaker 1:
But if your inequities, the checklist, I call it, and we all like checks. I mean, everybody likes getting paid. Forgive me If your checklist is a shallow assertion of physical attributes that lack the conception of soul, mortality, ethics, culture and possibly a little bit of a well, this is all right. Mine it's. It's. It's jizzy, it's jazzy, it's. It's my culture, it's me, this is my style, this is my fashion. It's your soul speaking. It's who you are, it's embedded in your DNA. Then it doesn't work. So be brave.
Speaker 1:
To love is letting go of the expectations. It's letting go of the limitations. It's letting go of saying that you know what this is over before it even begins. See, most of us we have that mindset. It's predisposed. I'm hoping she's going to be like this. I'm going to take her to meet my parents. God help me if it doesn't work out, and this is the way I think. God help me if it doesn't work out. I'm just not sure. But in our minds we convince ourselves who we are marrying. This is how they're going to be, and if they're not the right person, don't worry about it. I can change this person. I can get them to be who I want them to be.
Speaker 1:
Well, that's not love. How could you outright confess that you love somebody, but you need them to change. Haven't you heard of unconditional love? I can love you undoubtedly, and I think that love is blind, isn't it? It doesn't take shape, form, ethnicity, race, color, demographic. I don't think so. Even hobbies, genres, interests. I don't think so. I think it's completely blind and you're capable of love. So my confession is I'm capable of unconditional love and regardless of any of the factors of course I don't like infidelity. I mean, if you say you're going to hold me down, hold me down. You're going to hold somebody else down in the meantime. So let's be faithful to one another and then I'm capable of returning love, I'm capable of giving myself to you. I can love you unconditionally and I know that I can give myself to you unconditionally and I don't have to be mad, bitter, bitten or bickering about it in the meantime. But most of us don't have that.
Speaker 1:
Remember the the checklist. It's very, very important If you find somebody that meets every one of your status quos for life, for love, for relationship. In some cases we're looking for individuals for pro-life. I'm studying their DNA. Did you do 23andMe? These are good examples. I want to know where the heritage comes from. I'm going to give me a 4D or something computer generated images. This is what your child will look like. Excellent, yes. Then you're not going to be happy with who you are. And you see, if you create that mindset to where, all of a sudden, this is what's got to happen or you're not interested, before you ever even say hi, you're already saying bye.
Speaker 1:
So to be brave is to let go of your own limitations and restrictions, because you've took in your heart and in some cases it's the heart-shaped box. You've locked it up, you've contained it, you've derailed it, you've set it outside and you're waiting for the milkman to stop by and pick it up. I've seen empty bottles. They had fun last night. There's pictures and everything. You should check it out.
Speaker 1:
But we need to advance within what we consider to be love, because it's so short term and I don't want it to be disposable anymore. I want it to be long term, I want it to last. I want to know that, regardless you're going to be my ride or die, that you're going to be there for me. I don't even want to have to question it. I want to be gone for years upon years, not in a bad way, but consumed within you. I grabbed your hand and we ran off in to the sunset, maybe was to the dusk, I don't know. Some of us like night owls, I'm not sure. But I want to be alive within you and alive within me. Vice versa, I'm consumed with you and you're consumed with me.
Speaker 1:
So to be brave is to let go of your expectations and completely start accepting that individual. What if, every time there was a difference or personal preference, something that I didn't agree with? Instead of trying to push my agenda and I hope and pray that my agenda is intimacy and love and compassion and acceptance my Lord, help me treat others the way that you want to be treated I'm trying to let you know that my form of life is way more effective than yours. It doesn't seem like I'm asking for love. Excuse me. It doesn't seem like I'm trying to get anywhere. I'm not quite sure. Things could be a little different.
Speaker 1:
So to love is not to love, and you know how the story goes. I mean, it's very, very traditional. You never have love until you've lost love. So you don't even know what you got until it's gone. Golly, that's a tough one. How come the conception of your and in this case the persuasive, physical enactment of love doesn't work. Why didn't it resonate within you? Why didn't you see what you wanted to see? Because, surprisingly enough, we're still looking for ourselves.
Speaker 1:
So, when I tell you, don't try to love who you want that person to be, or don't try to find yourself in that other person. Try to learn how to accept them for who they are. And if you're stumbling, if you're bittered, if you're battered, if you're falling and you can't get over it, whatever, the dilemma is midlife crisis. If you would hairstyle I'm not sure. Fashion agenda, demographics I don't like this state and county excellent reference you might be capable of progressing. So don't see yourself in that other person. Learn how to find love within them and I think that love will truly last forever instead of expiring. Because, by the way, when the tag goes bad on this, I'm just going to throw it out. I'm going to buy a new one. They're cheap, it's cost effective and I expect a quick turnaround. Thank you for listening.